How does it know?
My computer that is. How does it know that I’m on holiday and desperate to write?
Because it’s done it again. Refused me access to the cloud. Done the whirly thing. Overloaded the T’Internet! Spun itself inexorably towards blue screen of death.
I was trying to go pro on Cold Turkey. For those of you writers out who gave no tried it, it provides distraction free writing. You can block websites for a period of time; leaving the temptation there but no way to get to it. I find it brilliant.
Or at least I would if I could upgrade.
Determined to thwart its plans I changed tack; went to the cloud. Tried to download book 2
Time to implement plan B!
I’ve plugged a cable in. It’s no better. Still blue spinning thing. Still no cloud. This computer is determined to thwart me at every turn.
Sod this! Plan Z!
Does anyone know where I’ll find a typewriter and twenty million pieces of carbon paper?
My Cunning Plan.
This year I haven’t read as many books as I would like. My excuse? Not enough time.
When I read as a child I devoured books. 1, 2, 3 a week.Agatha Christie, slushy romance, Doctor Who novelisation. Didn’t matter. All that stopped me reading was an absence of pocket money. I was a bookworm. Out and Proud.
Now? it takes forever.
A twitterer asked me what was I reading? The answer came easily enough: Europe in Winter. It’s brilliant.
They then asked what’s next? The honest answer? Buggered if I know. The book came out in November. I’m on page 99.
So, what has caused this malady? Because it’s not the book’s fault. It’s bloody brilliant!!
My commute to work has got longer. What took an hour and 10, now regularly takes an hour and a half. Whist the return journey.is up from an hour and 20 to … 2hours!!
Sheer volume of traffic is to blame. But it is leaving me too knackered to read. Unlike those halcyon days of childhood, when I could read a book all night; now I either drop off or I’m a zombie.the next day. It’s hell! I feel a traitor to myself and to my fellow bookworms. I fear being black balled from the Worshipful Company of Bookworms.
Things needed to change. FAST!
Last night I had an email from Amazon. I had 8 audible credits. Salvation.
Within ten minutes I had selected.4 Lindsey Davis Falcos and 4 Sansom Shardlakes. The Falcos are old favourites. 2 of the Shardlakes are new.
It might not be reading in a traditional sense but that’s a book every couple of days. Surely that has to be better than the current famine?
I have another credit in January. I’m taking suggestions.
8 more ups and counting the humbugs
We have 8 more ups to go, until school’s out for Christmas. I hate this week. 8 days of increasingly excited kids, increasingly ratty colleagues – and long dark nights and mornings of commute, as the year edges its way to the shortest day.
When we reach Monday of next week, no doubt extolled by ALT (the head and his team to you non teachers out there) – whose idea of teaching is 18 hours over the fortnight; not 37 – to keep grinding on to the bitter end; the excitement can bite me, and I can get caught up in the woohooness of it all. Until then Scrooge shall be my name – and bah humbug be my greeting of choice.
Dear Future Godchild
Dear Future Godchild,
I was pleased to make your acquaintance today when your Mum sent a picture of your 12 week scan. I look forward to meeting you properly later this year and getting to know you over the years.
Today, I would like to promise you several things. Firstly I would like to promise you my love. You have that unconditionally and for as long as I am on this planet with you.
I promise you that I will do my utmost to be as good a godparent to you as my Mum and Dad have been to my god-brother Anthony, his wife Kate and their son Vaughn. You see the responsibility your Mum is giving me (whether she has you christened or not) doesn’t end with you. I will remember birthdays, Christmas, Easter (and a couple of un-birthdays in between); laugh with you; wish you good luck; fight in your corner …and be a shoulder for you to cry on.
I promise you that I will do my best to help you identify and deal with injustice, intolerance and inequality. I hope I will enable you to deal with each of these thing appropriately and where possible with humour. I also hope that while I teach you the ways in which the pen is mightier than the sword, that I will also help you know that there are times when you need to stand up and be counted. That sometimes you will need to throw stones at dictators and man the barricades and say: “Not in my Name.”
Whilst I will rely on your Uncle Ollie to teach you the finer points of baking and the right way to complain to big business: know now, that I will see to it that you understand the importance of watching Doctor Who from behind the Sofa. You will affirm that Tom Baker is the greatest of all the Doctors and the Brigadier the greatest of all companions.
I hope I will give you a love of reading and history. I aim to give you a love of learning that will last you throughout your life. And I promise you that you will be able to wield a sword with the best of them and know truly why the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
Above all, I will be in your corner, from the moment you breathe your first to the moment I breath my last.